Finding Love: Searching (A man’s perspective)

love nature

I am at a point people call me a senior citizen.  Growing up in the ‘all you need is love’ era, that is what I sought through life, but I quickly found that this was not as easy as it sounds.  Over the years I encountered long periods where I felt lost during my search for love, until I realized that before you can find love, you need to know what love is.

At the heart of love is the coming together of two people, and as a young man I approached this union with a mixture of ignorance and expectations.  Of course, being young, ignorance came naturally, but the expectations were foisted upon me by family and society.

Getting rid of ignorance is easy, but it means you have to admit that you don’t know what you are doing.  This goes against the grain of social expectation that the male is always in charge and always knows what to do.  (Don’t give me ‘this is the 21stcentury and this is old school!  This is just the way it is, the so-called rules of the game…)

So, first, a young man needs to recognize they are stupid.  They need to put aside all their fears and expectations to open up. Learning what it takes to be with a woman (or whomever is your preference) is complicated!  The underlying realization is that the biggest barrier to happiness is you – not the other person!

Yes, breaking up is hard to do, but it happens.  This is not the end of the world, but your greatest opportunity to learn more about your short-comings as a partner happens when couples break up. In looking back at the women I befriended over the years, they were all great people.  I would have been fortunate to have become life-partners with any of them.  Each had their challenges (they were not perfect, just like me), but they were wonderful.

Of course, I blew it many times; I was far from understanding that love required openness and sacrifice.  I had to vanquish my ignorance and learn!  (Maybe I did…  My wife, the stubbornest woman of all, tells me that I still have a lot to learn.  You can never stop learning to love…)

There is one last thing to remember, patience, but that is for another Maravilla love letter.! 

~Andrew
New Hampshire

#selflove #spreadlove #lovestories @maravilla_love

All Love Letters’ are pristine, posted as they were received.  Please forgive any spelling and grammar issues, since the writing was done in the throes of love, and sometimes love doesn’t care about commas or misplaced letters.

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