BFF

fly be free

Somewhere around 25 yrs ago I met my best friend. By the time we were in high school we were in separable. We all went through a lot in high school, but not all had friends like I did. My best friend saved my life again and again over the course of my lifetime, thus far.


In high school there were at least 5 of us girls who hung out consistently and were considered close, which we were. But I knew deep in my soul that this girl would be my best friend, we would always be in touch. And we were. Of course I connected with all the ladies but she was on a daily basis.
You know a best friend when the tell you the cold hard truth, and of course you don’t believe it, because you are in complete denial! We all have those moments, no doubt. My best friend has been my saving grace and the one I look back on and say, “Why didn’t I listen to her? It would have saved me so much pain and trauma!”


However, I would have never learned all my lessons if I didn’t ignore her suggestions! All karmic lessons I needed to learn, none the less whatever decision I made she always stuck by my side.


The biggest revelation in our friendship is when we went on a trip together to Spain via cruise. I literally got laid off and called her to let her know I can go on this trip with her, same day. She paid for half my ticket and I figured out the rest. At the time I was in the fashion industry and she had been asking me to go on this trip for some time. But due to the industry, I couldn’t go.


Universe had other plans for me. We travelled across the sea for 14 days, 7 days at sea. My best friend, her sister and now husband and myself. I became a total drunkard. I don’t remember much but I do remember like it was yesterday when she came to me in sadness.


We were in the middle cabin, so no windows, She turned the lights on and what immediately followed out of her mouth, “we need to talk.” Infamous words from my mother, those words hurt me on a soul level. I knew instantly I did something wrong. She looked at me like my mother did, very stearnly and what literally felt like a cold heart.


She looked me dead in the eyes and said that I hurt her…To hurt someone I care about deeply, makes me feel shame and sadness. My best friend is telling me that I hurt her made me feel like a grain of sand in that moment. She woke me up from a long night of I don’t know what kind of drinking, but I was in mental and physical pain.


When she said that I shrunk. How can “I” hurt my best friend, what kind of person does that??? She continued on saying that she doesn’t blame me, she blames my dis-ease. I literally pick up the covers and look down my body and look back saying, I have no idea what you are talking about, I don’t have a disease!


She continues, alcoholism. Alcoholism is a disease and if you go back to where you came from you are going to die. I look at her, she has tears forming. I am scared that my best friend is going to hate me forever…
Instead, she continued to love me for who I am, with or without the alcohol. I continued to drink on the trip but I had a plan that when I get home I would quit. I didn’t want to let me best friend down.


For the rest of the trip I monitored my drinking, as I am sure she watched as well and tried to keep it together as much as possible.


I arrived home on March 28th or somewhere around there and decided April 1st was going to be the day.


April 1st came around and I put down the drink for 10 years and never looked back! All because I hurt my best friend and she was such a friend that could stand up to me and tell me that I hurt her emotionally. BTW, the worst feeling in the world!!!


But honestly the best thing I could have ever asked for…My Bff saved my life, I was headed down a dark road and she saw that. My dad did too but It wasn’t the same thing. I have known this girl for 25 years nothing can touch that.


My parents didn’t even know who I was, my BFF is the only human being besides myself that knows me inside and out. I am forever grateful for her. She knows it, and if she doesn’t, now she does.

She is my shining star, my soul sister. Forever my friend.

Much Gratitude…
Love, Light and Healing,

~Budderflie 3.12.19

Maine 

#Friendshiplove #BFFlove #bff #lovestories #spreadlove #maravillalove @maravilla_love

All Love Letters’ are pristine, posted as they were received.  Please forgive any spelling and grammar issues, since the writing was done in the throes of love, and sometimes love doesn’t care about commas or misplaced letters.

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